Monday, June 11, 2007
This is going to be a SAD Day...
In November of 2000, my "Big Black Dog" (Rocky) was struck by a car and killed. I was devastated. The pain was so unbearable that after a couple of weeks, I drove to Madison, Wisconsin, (in a Blizzard ~ which really ticked off Don) and adopted a 2 year old, male Rottweiler from Wisconsin Rottweiler Rescue. I had no choice. I felt like I was dying. On the long, drive home, I named my new friend "Buddy". He filled a void in my heart and eased the pain that was gripping my soul. Although he would never "replace" my Big Black Dog, Buddy will forever be my Big Black PUPPY.
He has the personality of a puppy. Always happy. Usually silly. His nickname is "Mr Wiggle Butt".
Today, Buddy is dying. He's been slowly, going down hill for the past couple of months. Don & I have talked about having him "put down". But I wanted to give him as much time as possible as long as he wasn't suffering. The past couple of days, Buddy is having difficulty moving around. I've been bribing him to eat for a week now, by pouring chicken soup over his dog food ~ which I serve to him on my bed. He drinks water when I bring it to him in a bowl on my bed. He only gets off my bed when I urge him to come outside or once, yesterday, when he heard one of his favorite commercials, on T.V. (Buddy LOVES to watch TV and recognizes the sound of all his favorite shows and commercials) He goes outside once or twice a day, with great difficulty.
I called the vet this morning. He will be coming out shortly.
Buddy has picked a spot, under a tree, in the ewe's pasture. For the past few days, he has laid there all day and only moved when I make him come in at night. He loves to lay there and look over "his" valley. I sat out with him for a while this morning. He's so funny! He's lying there, barely moving. But he loves to be petted and have his tummy rubbed. I brought him his favorite ball and a pair of my socks. He LOVES to carry around my socks (and SHOES) and enjoys shaking apart the paired up ball I roll my socks into.
Buddy enjoyed being petted and scratched for a while. He used the ball as a pillow. His breathing is so slow and shallow, that several times I thought he had passed. But as soon as I'd stop rubbing his belly, he'd gently paw at me to ask me not to stop...
Then, the most amazing thing happen. Buddy noticed the socks that I had brought him.
He started 'mouthing' the rolled up socks. Then he rolled on his back and played with them!
My silly Puppy!
I would pretend that I was going to take 'his' sock away, and Buddy would GROWL at me ~ the vicious beast! (this is a game he loves to play)
Buddy uses his paws to unroll the socks. He prefers to have one at a time so that it flops around when he shakes it.
Although Buddy has never much liked Lilly (the white & orange kitten)~ in fact, I think he wants to EAT her! ~ he adores Daisy and here she decides to keep him company while he's playing.
Naturally, watching my Big Black Puppy having so much fun is making me think that maybe I should wait. Give him a little more time. But I can't. I don't want to wait until he CAN'T enjoy life. CAN'T have fun. I want it to end while he's still able to feel joy. And love.
I better go. The vet's on his way...