Monday, June 11, 2007

This is going to be a SAD Day...


In November of 2000, my "Big Black Dog" (Rocky) was struck by a car and killed. I was devastated. The pain was so unbearable that after a couple of weeks, I drove to Madison, Wisconsin, (in a Blizzard ~ which really ticked off Don) and adopted a 2 year old, male Rottweiler from Wisconsin Rottweiler Rescue. I had no choice. I felt like I was dying. On the long, drive home, I named my new friend "Buddy". He filled a void in my heart and eased the pain that was gripping my soul. Although he would never "replace" my Big Black Dog, Buddy will forever be my Big Black PUPPY.

He has the personality of a puppy. Always happy. Usually silly. His nickname is "Mr Wiggle Butt".

Today, Buddy is dying. He's been slowly, going down hill for the past couple of months. Don & I have talked about having him "put down". But I wanted to give him as much time as possible as long as he wasn't suffering. The past couple of days, Buddy is having difficulty moving around. I've been bribing him to eat for a week now, by pouring chicken soup over his dog food ~ which I serve to him on my bed. He drinks water when I bring it to him in a bowl on my bed. He only gets off my bed when I urge him to come outside or once, yesterday, when he heard one of his favorite commercials, on T.V. (Buddy LOVES to watch TV and recognizes the sound of all his favorite shows and commercials) He goes outside once or twice a day, with great difficulty.

I called the vet this morning. He will be coming out shortly.

Buddy has picked a spot, under a tree, in the ewe's pasture. For the past few days, he has laid there all day and only moved when I make him come in at night. He loves to lay there and look over "his" valley. I sat out with him for a while this morning. He's so funny! He's lying there, barely moving. But he loves to be petted and have his tummy rubbed. I brought him his favorite ball and a pair of my socks. He LOVES to carry around my socks (and SHOES) and enjoys shaking apart the paired up ball I roll my socks into.

Buddy enjoyed being petted and scratched for a while. He used the ball as a pillow. His breathing is so slow and shallow, that several times I thought he had passed. But as soon as I'd stop rubbing his belly, he'd gently paw at me to ask me not to stop...
Then, the most amazing thing happen. Buddy noticed the socks that I had brought him.
He started 'mouthing' the rolled up socks. Then he rolled on his back and played with them!
My silly Puppy!
I would pretend that I was going to take 'his' sock away, and Buddy would GROWL at me ~ the vicious beast! (this is a game he loves to play)
Buddy uses his paws to unroll the socks. He prefers to have one at a time so that it flops around when he shakes it.
Although Buddy has never much liked Lilly (the white & orange kitten)~ in fact, I think he wants to EAT her! ~ he adores Daisy and here she decides to keep him company while he's playing.

Naturally, watching my Big Black Puppy having so much fun is making me think that maybe I should wait. Give him a little more time. But I can't. I don't want to wait until he CAN'T enjoy life. CAN'T have fun. I want it to end while he's still able to feel joy. And love.

I better go. The vet's on his way...

7 comments:

  1. Kelly V11:43 AM

    I am so sorry to hear about Buddy. Losing a loved member of the family is never easy especially when so many other crappy things are happening at the same time. At least you have wonderful memories and can make his last few moments happy for him and special for both of you. As hard as it is, it sounds like it is the right decision for him. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  2. Oh, now my computer is all soggy! My homegrown baby bulldog is on the downhill side of middle age and I'm already feeling the dread of losing her someday, and reading about Buddy just broke my heart....

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  3. Oh, Nancy, that's just not what you need right now. We're so sorry. Our thoughts are with you. XOX Tina

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  4. My eyes are leaking all over the computer and desk. I am so very sorry about Buddy. May your heart rest in the thoughts and prayers of all your friends to help you through this sad time.

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  5. Nancy~

    Words cannot express how deeply sorry I am for you. I nearly lost my heart dog Sadie last year when my Grandpa ran her over. Although mostly healed I never thought she'd make it and she still is stiff from time to time, but I will never let one day go by without thanking God for that day with her. Her life will more than likely be shorter because of the accident but I am grateful for each day and for each moment spent with her. I know how much you love Buddy, as I love Sadie as equally much. Big hugs!!
    Garrett

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  6. I am so sorry. No matter how long we have them, it is never enough.

    One of my dogs was diagnosed with leukemia last week, so I am also facing an ending..............

    Good thoughts coming your way.

    -- Vicki

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  7. I'm sorry for your loss. May you have comfort through your memories of Buddy. Hugs from me and kisses from a Dobe, Rottie X, and Aussie.
    Sincerely,
    Shaun

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