Saturday, October 28, 2006

Chicken Soup...


I find petting a kitten very much like Chicken Soup for the soul. It soothes and calms me. And when she purrs, my heart smiles...


But my poor little "Lily" is not feeling well. She's got a bad cold. I called the vet ~ was going to take her in for shots and worming ~ but they said they won't treat her while she's sick. She has to tough it out. So I made her chicken soup. Real chicken soup ~ with real chicken and carrots and celery and wide, egg noodles. I figure, she's sneezing and all stuffed up. Even her poor little eyes are mattery. Chicken soup helps me when I have a cold. So, I made her chicken soup. She loves it! I give it to her (and Daisy) twice a day. It really does seem to make her feel better! She doesn't sneeze for several hours after she eats it and will play with Daisy and me.

Look who's finally decided to join the fun...

Don't worry, Mimi is current on her shots, so should be safe from the kittens' cold. Now if only the humans could learn to get along as well as the animals...

Actually, Don and I are talking. Amazingly enough, we're having calm, rational discussions regarding our options. We haven't made any firm decisions but will continue to discuss things, over the weekend, and have some sort of a plan (for what ever we decide) in the next few days. I'm feeling OK.

Dream says...

..."That's all just fine and dandy but Rosie and I are feeling a little NEGLECTED. I don't believe you even came out to see me today! sniff, sniff."

I'm sorry, Dreamer ~ I get off work, early, tomorrow and will be picking up hay for you and all your friends. I promise you lots of hugs tomorrow...

Friday, October 27, 2006

A Frosty, Friday Morning...

My flock of beautiful, Shetland ewes on a frosty, October morning.

Frost on the fleece of My little Dreamer. That's her beautiful, black/iset, mom "Zodiak" with her...

La Mia Bella Diva


The girls follow me back to the barn...


And of course, the most beautiful, wonderful, magical, mystical, Shetland sheep ever born...ALICE
UPDATE ON THE HOME FRONT

Not good. I relaxed too soon. I never even looked at the mail, when I brought it in, after work, yesterday. I didn't even think about it until just before I went to bed. I noticed a rather thick envelope, lying on the kitchen table. Yup. Divorce papers. Signed on Monday, Oct. 23. Coward.

I am NOT going to use this blog as a "poor me" pity party, nor will I use it for a "we hate men" or "God will take care of all" (I know he will) podium. What will be will be. I will do what I can to hold on to my animals. My wish is to keep this blog a happy place to go to when you (or I ! ) need a smile.

Your prayers, good thoughts and constructive advice are welcome. If anyone knows of a good divorce lawyer ~ willing to work pro bono ~ that would be a good place to start...


In the mean time, lets enjoy the beautiful day!

Dream says....

"I'm not even going to worry. I KNOW Mom will take care of me!"

Thursday, October 26, 2006

I've been busy...

Dream says.....

..."Mom promised she's going to update this blog tomorrow but wanted you to see what she's been up to today..."

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Just for Fun...

Check this out: (courtesy of QOE, in "comments")

HowManyOfMe.com
LogoThere are:
12
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

BOO!

It's almost Halloween and time for some fun. Here are some pictures that my dear friend, Angie, sent me of people's pets all decked out for the occasion...


AWWWW! Aren't they adorable??







































































Dream says....

..."Don't even THINK about it!!!"










This weekend...planning breeding groups.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Reprieve (?)
long and off topic...

First of all, I apologize for not 'getting in touch' sooner. Don was home until yesterday and I just didn't feel comfortable posting (nor sure of what to say, until he'd left. Truth be told, I'm still not exactly sure what's going on. For the most part, he acted as if nothing had happened. I kept trying to talk about the letter and "what he wanted" but he kept changing the subject or simply saying that he was "too tired to talk about it now". The best I can determine from the weekend is that Don is tired of working so hard and not having 'anything' to show for it. He figured that if he sold our place, he'd have enough to buy himself a little place up North and could get by on less, living by himself.

Now, that is over simplifying his case, but I really don't want to go into too much personal detail here. Suffice it to say that our marriage is NOT based on love. It was, however, predicated on the promise that if we got married, it would be for good and divorce was not an option. We agreed that "even if we hated each other" we would stay together and make it work. Divorce was simply not to be considered an option. (can you tell I was looking for security???) I was "looking for a home" and Don was looking for someone to take care of his home and make his life more pleasant. We've both been married before and neither of us wanted to go through another divorce or be alone. (I know)

That was a little over seven years ago. I've certainly discovered that living in a loveless marriage is not necessarily better than being alone ~ however, I love my home and my animals and my lifestyle and will fight to keep it. I do try to be a good wife. I even try to act as if we care about each other. I try to support and encourage my husband even though he would much rather criticize or ignore me. Up until recently, our arrangement has worked to a point. I can't say that I'm happy being married to a man who doesn't love me. And I'm sure Don is equally aware that I do not love him. I would have. I truly thought that, once we were married, Don would fall in love with me. I really did try to be a sweet, loving, doting wife. He wanted none of it. There is definitely part of me that is angry with him for not loving me. I learned, pretty quickly, to put up a wall around myself so that he couldn't hurt me. So, we have shared a home and both enjoy the sheep. We usually get along, as long as I don't let his constant criticism get to me.

To the best of my knowledge, Don has not actually taken any steps to dissolve our marriage. I am, for the time being, going on the assumption that nothing is going to change (other than I will try to save $200 a month toward purchasing a new vehicle when my car dies). If I can pick up a little more of the financial burden, I think Don will leave things as they are. It is surely not in his best interest to sell our home! It will be paid off in 5 years and we count on that for our 'retirement'.

This is certainly not what I consider an ideal arrangement. I would never have believed that I would be willing to live like this. But, I'm getting older and I've made the choice that my home and lifestyle are worth sacrificing for. I'm willing to pay the price.

I really didn't mean to go into so much personal detail. However, I do feel an obligation to try to explain the situation to you because you have been so wonderful with your support. I was amazed by how much comfort I took in all the comments and e-mails I received, offering me hope and support through this frightening time. Please don't judge me too harshly for accepting a life-style that is not based on love and respect. Remember Maslow's pyramid: home & security are a more basic need than fulfillment and enlightenment. I certainly hope for a much better life for my children but this one works for me if I can just hang on....

* my intention is that this will be my last post concerning my marriage. This blog is supposed to be about things I love and enjoy ~ my sheep, my kids, my friends, knitting etc. I'd much rather write (and think!) about happy things, than dwell on the negative) Thank you all for your support and prayers. I believe that God has answered my prayers and that I will get to stay in my home... for now.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Oct. 20


Don's coming 'home' today.


I'm scared to death. We haven't talked since the letter .


My stomach hurts. I try not to think about things. If I don't think, my tummy doesn't hurt so bad.


I don't want to lose my home.


Or my beloved animals.


I can't imagine my life without them.


They make me smile.

Dream says....

..."I'm scared too Mom".

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Counting my blessings...


One day at a time. That's how I deal with difficult situations. Some may accuse me of not facing things. I prefer to think of it as counting my blessings. I am so grateful for all of the support and love that so many have offered as I face this difficult time. Through the comments, private e-mails and phone calls, you have made me feel loved. Thank you, dear friends and friends I haven't even met! I have the most wonderful children in the entire world and am so grateful to God for the blessings that they are. Of course, you all know, I take MUCH pleasure in my animals. Daisy and Lily are constantly bringing a smile to my face with their antics.

They both purred today. I swear ~ I did too. These little ladies (?) were adopted from Kim's barn and are a bit on the wild side. They are adjusting to their new home, with it's menagerie of much larger animals. Mimi is NOT impressed and the dogs are either very curious or very hungry...

I took a 'sick day' off work today. I needed to catch up on my sleep and spend some time with my critters. I know I have a lot of things that I have to take care of but my physical health required a day of peace. As always, my animals give me a sense of peace and serenity.

It's almost as if God knew I was going to need something to make me smile and that's why I spontaneously went to Kim's to bring home the kittens. It wasn't planned. I just did it.
It's awful hard to be feeling sad when looking at something like this!

I spent some time with my sheep today too. Did some moving around of temporary electric fences in preparation for breeding season. Yes, as of now, I'm still planning on going ahead with breeding. If I am forced to sell any or all of my flock, I doubt that the fact that they are bred or have lambs by their sides will reduce the chance of selling them. But I don't want to think about that now...

Dream says...

...."Don't worry Mom ~ Rosie and I will take care of you!"

Monday, October 16, 2006

realing....
or is that "reeling"?
I think reeling...

The retreat was great. It was wonderful seeing my sheepie friends again. We spun, and knit and made soap and dyed fiber and ate and drank and talked.... Angie dyed up a storm and Penny made the most wonderful lasagna & pumpkin cheese cake!. What more could a person wish for???? ;-)
THE SOAP I MADE!!!!!
Yes, I cheated. I used 'melt and pour'. But I LOVE it!!




Gail brought her new spinning wheel which Russ (Winnie's husband ~ they own the Woodland Cottage) put together and is going to get working for her!

On the way home, my car followed Kim home and ended up bringing two, little kittens home to live with me. This is "Daisy".
And this little doll is "Tiger Lily" (Lily).












What a perfect weekend.

Until I got home.

This is what greeted me. It was lying on the kitchen cupboard when I walked in the door...














Dream says...

....."uh-oh."

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

This and That...

I got off work early today. YEAH!!! I'm having a hard time adjusting back to my "normal" routine...

Katie sent me the nicest "e-card" this morning. I have no idea how I came to be blessed with such incredibly wonderful children.

If anyone would like to see even MORE pictures of Italy, here's the link to another album that Katie put together: Image hosted by Webshots.com

If you STILL haven't seen enough, here's one more! Image hosted by Webshots.com


It's COLD!!! here in the Bluff Country! I'm sitting here in my sweat pants, a sweater, wool socks, a wool scarf and my long bath robe! Those of you who know me personally, know that I'm NEVER cold! It was spitting SNOW as I drove home from work this afternoon. Beats the heck out of "hot" as far as I'm concerned... ;-)

The annual MSSBO fall retreat is scheduled for this weekend and I'm scheduled to work!!! I am desperately trying to find someone to take my hours so that I can get together with this incredibly FUN bunch of Shetland Sheep admirers. We always have SO much fun: spinning and knitting and weaving (I won't even mention the food and beverages!), and this weekend we are planning on making SOAP! I've just GOT to get off work! Cross your fingers, say your prayers, wave your DPNs for me....

Dream says...

..."I like the cold weather too! Mom says I already have my winter coat on and it's nice and soft and VERY warm! I'm thinking maybe it would be OK if you stayed HOME this weekend, Mom???"

Monday, October 09, 2006

Silly me....

I went out to take some fall pictures of my flock, after work, this afternoon. Of COURSE I should have realized that my camera batteries would need recharging! I did manage to sneak off three quick photos before they died.....


This one shows the girls as soon as they notice me heading into their pasture. Notice that Rosie and Dream lead the charge. ;-) I love that they've become friends...


Of course, Dream gets the closest and snuggles right in so nobody gets more attention than her. I don't know how she got to be so spoiled!!

I treated Paco's cut above his eye, with Antibiotic spray and screw worm spray. It's healing nicely now that I'm keeping the two big guys apart. I can't wait 'till January! ;-)

Dream says...

...."Mom gave Rosie and I a little treat called lamb creep feed' today. We weren't too crazy about it but nibbled a little, just to be polite. Wouldn't want to hurt Mom's feelings!"

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