Modonna's gone. I knew something was wrong when I went into the barn. All the other chickens came but not Madonna. She's the one who always comes right up for me to pick her up. She's the only one who eats from my hand. Madonna can't fly. I have to take care of her. I failed. I found her. Dead. Something had killed her. I am so sorry, Madonna.
I guess I'm not a real farmer. I can't stop crying.
I went out and sat with the sheep. They all came up to "offer their condolences". Seriously. They each walked up and let me pet them for a moment and then walked off. Except Dream. She stood by me and put her muzzle against my cheek. She let me wrap my arms around her neck and cry into her fleece. She stood by me until it was time for me to come into the house.
What will I ever do when I lose my Dreamer....?
I have to get ready for work now.
It always amazes me how the animals can sense something is wrong... I have cried a few times on a goaty shoulder....
ReplyDeleteOh Nancy. I am so sorry. I know exactly how you feel. We try so hard. And cry so hard.
ReplyDeleteOnly a farmer who really cares about her chickens will cry when she loses one, and that is the kind of farmer I like to be. I cried when I lost dear Rosie, my nearly beakless rescue chicken. What made it worse was that I was away at Christmas when it happened. Broke my heart that I was not there for her. I completely understand, and have done the same thing. Rosie's spirit came back to me through Rosebud, a silkie with serious wry neck that was free with some others. I gave her selenium plus vitamin E capsules for weeks, and she finally came out of it. She no longer gets her neck all twisty and walks backwards, and she looks perfectly normal. Madonna's spirit will come back to you when you least expect it.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry, Nancy. I have been where you are now, and I wish this hadn't happened to you and Madonna.
ReplyDeleteAngela
we're soft-hearted about out chickens and turkeys too. We think of everybody as family 'round here. Sorry about Madonna.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of farmer- a loving compassionate one. Its OK to mourn a special relationship no matter what the other partner is. She will return to you, and someday you will feel that brush of her feathers on your hand and you will know whe really never left you. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I want to be the kind of farmer that doesn't cry when I lose one of my animals. Sorry for your loss with Madonna and I'm glad you had your sheep to support you. I don't want to mention the number of times I have cried on my horses shoulder.
ReplyDeleteGee, everyone else said it so well. A caring farmer cries over chickens, and all the other farm critters. That's the way to be.
ReplyDeleteThe highs and the lows. You don't feel the highs unless you feel the lows, too. Don't miss the Dance.
Hugs!
- Franna
You are a caring farmer, Nancy. You invest yourself heart and soul into your little flock(s) and enjoy their uniquiness and beauty. As painful as it is to lose them (especially the special ones) I don't think I'd want to go to all this work and trouble and not care about them. Take care of yourself. Madonna had a beautiful life with you.
ReplyDeleteTammy
A kind hearted farmer that's what you are. I'm sorry about Madonna - it's painful to lose any of our animals, regardless of what they are.
ReplyDeleteYou didn't fail Nancy. We take each loss so personal - sometimes there's no explanation for why things happen - they just do.
Keep your chin up :)
I'm the type of farmer that would cry over a chicken. I think it makes us stronger to cry.
ReplyDeleteNancy, I'll raise my hand.
ReplyDeleteI sobbed when Bethany, my very tame sultan bantam, was killed by a opossum.
I'm very sorry to hear about Madonna. ((hugs)))
Claire and Franna have said what I was thinking. Nancy, you are in the company of many people who would also cry if they lost their chicken. I am so sorry. We all love our animals and feel deeply sad when they die.
ReplyDeleteDiane L./Bloomingotn,IN.
If you ever lose that you'll know you've lost something special about being a farmer. We all miss our favourite animals, it's part of the job description.
ReplyDeleteWe cry because we love what we do and we love what we have. Our animals are our heart and soul. They probably know us better than we know ourselves sometimes. Take care:)
ReplyDeleteBig ((HUGS)).
ReplyDeleteoh Nancy I would have cried too...but its usually overcome by anger that I let it happen or that I wasn't there or I try to find fault with myself. Sometimes things just happen and are meant to happen. Enjoy your memories of her and laugh about the times you did have with her. A very special girl she was to have such a great farmer as yourself.
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone! Your comments really do help. They are like hugs. I'm at work and I have such a headache and my eyes burn so. I should have known that you would all understand how hard it is. Even when it's "only a chicken...."
ReplyDeleteI miss my fluffly little Madonna. I think I'd forgotten how much being sad can physically hurt.
Thank God for friends like you and my wonderful sheep (and DOGS!). Poor Bella and Sadie were practically tripping over each other, trying to comfort me...
There is not much more to say...I am so sorry Nancy.
ReplyDeleteI, too, cry over chickens. But don't beat yourself up. They are very fragile, and have dozens of potential hazards in their lives - you did very well to have taken such good care of her for this long.
ReplyDeleteWe just lost our Silkie the other day (my favorite) and I dried my tears with more chicks. Be careful - it's that time of year when the air is full of peep!peep!peep!...
Sorry to hear about Madonna. She had a good life with you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about Madonna - and I so understand. No, I'm not a farmer, but I have cried over hamsters and guinea pigs and cats and dogs - we take these creatures into our lives no matter where we live. We care for them, and they give back in turn, like your sheep consoling you. It just proves you are a kind soul.
ReplyDeleteNancy in Atlanta
The best kind of farmer, and the kind I hope I am too.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. All your animals are very lucky to have been a part of your family, no matter for how short a time.
I'm so sorry mom, I know how much you liked madonna, but you did not fail. You gave that chicken a pretty amazing un-chicken like life, and I'm sure she was happy. Remember why you decided to try and hatch a few of the eggs last year? Because you had a feeling Madonna might be getting old. you're a very good farmer, with very good instincts and a perfect heart. Remember what dad always said about you- when he died he wanted to come back as one of your animals /:) Love you
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about your precious Madonna. She will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. She'll probably push her way to the front of the welcoming committee.
ReplyDeleteI guess we have to come to terms that with all the joy our animals bring there comes some sorrow as well. It's the tough part. You are such a kind, loving, compassionate farmer and you are giving all your animals your very best. It was her time. And, just think, now she can fly...she's a chicken angel.
It's your wonderful heart that makes you cry over a chicken. And that same wonderful heart that makes you a wonderful farmer.
ReplyDeleteI would have a very hard time ever considering any animal "just livestock".
*hugs*
Oh Nancy - I am so sorry to hear about Madonna - I know how much you loved her.
ReplyDeleteCrying over your animals only shows how caring and compassionate a farmer you really are. I've cried over many of my sheep and other animals as well - only to be told by hardened farmers that I am too soft. So - please cry away - we need more farmers like you.
By the way - I also came home Sunday to find something had killed one of my favourite hens - how devastating.